Monday, October 26, 2015


Well hello there. When last we spoke it was summer and now it's autumn and the painted ponies go up and down because we're all trapped on a terrifying carousel of death. Or something. I may have gotten those lyrics wrong.


H started her senior year of high school, OMG. Senior year is nuts. C never had one so we're new to all this. And it could not be more different than my own senior year 32 years ago. For one thing, the internet exists now, I don't know whether you're aware. The number of times I've thanked my lucky stars that Instagram and Youtube and Snapchat and whatnot were not actual things when I was in high school: 47 million, give or take. Just since August.

I finished nutrition school and got my certification so now I'm all bona fide and shit! And I turned 49 so I'm also all old and shit! Yeah! And I cut off all my hair. Like you do.

I read a bunch of really good books somewhere in there. Marcel Theroux's Far North, Cheryl Strayed's Wild, Andy Weir's The Martian, Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus, all excellent. Kate Atkinson's Started Early, Took My Dog, Spike Gillespie's Sit. Stay. Heal., Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods, Louise Penny's The Nature of the Beast, Terry M. Green's Shaman, Healer, Heretic, Laurie Colwin's Shine On, Bright & Dangerous Object, Zachary Thomas Dodson's Bats of the Republic, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, all really freaking great. Slightly disappointed with Oliver Pötzsch's The Beggar King and Lauren Groff's Fates and Furies, oh well. And I read a bunch of stuff for work that you don't care about.

I've been cooking and doing yoga and reading the tarot and coloring mandalas. And knitting this stupid Kindle cozy I've been knitting since H was in middle school. And sneezing a lot. September marked three years of staying at my goal weight and I can't remember the last time I had to pluck a long, wiry hair out of my chin so if that doesn't sell you on Balancing Your Hormones Through Real-Food Nutrition()(just kidding, I haven't trademarked that)(YET), I don't know what will.

In other news, it's come to my attention that some towns/communities/dystopian societies actually schedule trick-or-treating and sometimes it doesn't even happen on Halloween and I'm completely traumatized by this knowledge. You guys. What. Around here the kids trick-or-treat on Halloween night no matter what, there are no do-overs or weather delays (what is this, BASEBALL?). They start around dusk and continue long into the night until everyone has turned off their porch lights and closed their curtains and hidden their pumpkins. Which is what God intended. That's in Leviticus, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, so that's what's going on around here. Birthdays (my mom turned 69, H is about to turn 18, what is happening?) and renewing my passport so I can take another health coaching certification exam (which will make me a Certified International Health Coach, very exciting) and gearing up for Festivus and our annual pilgrimage to the ArkLaTex and whatnot. Yep. How are things with you?

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A mosquito, my libido

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

Heeeyyyyyy, everyone! I'd say let's pretend it hasn't been FOUR MONTHS since last I blogged at you, but frankly I respect you too much. So here's what you missed!

I got my mid-course health coaching certification which means I am officially seeing clients as a health coach, whee! It's going great and I am SUPER excited and this is pretty much the first time I've ever been super excited about any job I've ever had in the history of my entire life. So that's awesome. My graduation from nutrition school is two months from tomorrow, holy crap. And a couple of weeks after that I turn 49, holier crappier.

P turned 50 in April and started a new job but at the same company and now he travels a lot which is swell, I guess.

C turned 19 in April and does not have a job but, you know, he's doing really well right now. Baby steps toward adulthood and all that.

H finished her junior year of high school and got her tonsils out. She also does not have a job. Heh. She'll be a senior in August and turns 18 in November and I seriously do not know where those years went. I may have been drunk? For some of it? Maybe.

I read a bunch of books! Want to hear about them? Sure you do.

Fiction-wise, I LOVED All the Light We Cannot See, The Girl on the Train and Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves. Was less crazy about Gaudi Afternoon, Miss Buncle's Book and Hercules, My Shipmate. Dern near hated the most recent Chief Inspector Gamache book by Louise Penny, The Long Way Home, which made me very sad. Currently reading and loving Kate Atkinson's Started Early, Took My Dog because Jackson Brodie is my literary boyfriend.

Mostly I have been reading stuff for work/school and can hereby recommend Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, Brain Maker by David Perlmutter, Keto Clarity and Cholesterol Clarity, both by Jimmy Moore, and Denise Minger's Death By Food Pyramid though really I liked Marion Nestle's Food Politics even better. So, you know. In case you're into that kind of stuff.

(Incidentally I also read Anne Lamott's Help, Thanks, Wow and that was awesome. So there you go.)

Let's talk about TV! Game of Thrones has had an entire season since last we spoke! I think I liked it. They've deviated from the books rather a lot and I fervently hope we're going to get some more House Greyjoy next season because I don't think Aaron Damphair or Euron Crow's Eye or Victarion (... just Victarion) have even been on the damn show yet, but I'm glad we got to see lots of Arya because she's pretty much the only person left alive that I can tolerate at all. (Besides Tyrion, because Peter Dinklage is magic.)

I don't remember what else was on TV. Um. The Brink is really funny! I haven't quite warmed up to this season of True Detective. Liking Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell despite not having read the book. Penny Dreadful was AWESOME. Orphan Black was like whaaaaat?! I liked Happyish but if the next season is going to be all about what I think it is then I'm not going to care. I stopped watching Outlander about halfway through the penultimate episode of Season One and have no intention of looking back. Was Downton on again? Did I like it? No idea. Oh! Second season of Broadchurch! Loved, loved, loved. Also Better Call Saul. And iZombie. Yeah.

I feel like I saw some movies but the only one I remember is Spy, which was super cute and had an awesome soundtrack and now I can't get Santigold's "GO!" out of my head.

Yep. That's all I've got. I really should start writing things down more so I can remember them. Like in a blog or something.