Year in review

Twenty-twelve, you guys. What a year that is/was/has been, eh?

In January we got new floors, which broke the dog's brain, and also I nearly died from allergies.

In February we were sick, sick, sick and I couldn't stop making ramen, chai tea and granola.

In March I was allergic some more and I read a whole bunch of stuff.

In April C turned 16 and his misophonia kicked into high gear, and also I discovered Instagram, God help us all.

In May special needs parenting nearly broke me in half; my brother came for a visit, which was way swell; H said goodbye to middle school; C said goodbye to school, period, although we didn't know it then; and I got serious about losing some weight. Geez, May. I am tired all over again just thinking about you.

In June it was very very hot, I was grilling everything, H started rehearsals for a community theater production of Alice in Wonderland, C did three weeks of summer school for credit acceleration, and we were doing our darndest to enjoy our summer vacation without actually leaving town.

In July C got his wisdom teeth out and started a new medication that made his misophonia reactions better but ultimately made everything else terrible, H continued rehearsals and started performances, and I got trapped in my car in the driveway during a super scary storm that knocked down trees and power all over our neighborhood. Yikes.

In August H's play wrapped and she started high school, both of which went very well; C finished summer band and started 11th grade, both of which were kind of disastrous; and I was progressing nicely on my weight loss journey because that stress diet works a treat.

In September we pulled C out of school and started him on a new medication (Lexapro, which has been a miracle drug for him). I turned 46 and surprised myself by actually reaching my goal weight by the arbitrary deadline that I'd set for myself. Huh.

In October I had a bit of a mental health holiday/wander and it was glorious.

In November I participated in the habit flickr pool, failed spectacularly at NaBloPoMo, and desperately tried to get into the holiday spirit. H turned 15 and spent her birthday having a wander/adventure of her own, which was also glorious, even though it felt weird not to have her here on her special day.

In December an old friend spoke to me from beyond the grave. C and I opted to stay home from the big annual family gathering, which turned out to be a good decision. P and H came home with containers of cookies, turkey and dressing, and potato salad, along with two dozen farm-fresh eggs and several pounds of venison generously provided by our nephew. I baked more goodies in three weeks than I'd done in the previous three years put together, but failed to send a single Christmas card. We had a nice Christmas Eve visit with my parents and then a very low-key Christmas day, just the four of us (five if you count the dog).

We scrapped a lot of traditions this holiday season and tried to create new ones that better fit our life the way it is now, which culminated in me deciding I'd had enough of starting every new year slaving over a huge meal of pork, sauerkraut, collard greens and black-eyed peas that only a couple of us actually like -- for New Year's Day 2013 (and possibly beyond) we are having store-bought tamales. EVERYONE likes tamales!

I am cautiously optimistic about the new year. I do hope yours is wonderful.

Gracenote

Last week I clicked on the wrong thing in Thunderbird
which led to me buying a book of poetry written
by a dead friend
from an Amazon third-party seller
as you do.

The seller was a charity shop
that helps homeless people with HIV/AIDS and I told myself
she would have liked that.

The book arrived yesterday.
I didn't open it until this morning
and when I did, I found
it had been signed.

This is the time of year when I miss people.
People I loved dearly
and people I didn't even know all that well.

This week I will use my grandmother's measuring cups to make
Christmas cookies.

And I will hope once again that they serve Tab in Heaven
for AJ.

12 things on 12/12/12 12forever infinity12

1. My new favorite things to photograph are the birds in my kids' high school parking lot. I felt you should know.

2. The holiday baking is coming along nicely: pretzel/Rollo/pecan cookies, pretzel/Rollo/M&M cookies, almond crescents, pecan tassies, peanut butter blossoms, chocolate chip meringues, date-nut balls, coconut flour gingerbread drop cookies -- all done. Today: fudge and some more coconut flour goodies. Still debating the wisdom of peppermint bark and rolled sugar cookies.

3. I've decided I do not care for LED Christmas/fairy lights. I felt you should know.

4. I've been watching a bunch of those old claymation Christmas shows from when we were kids -- you know, back in the Jurassic -- and holy cats, those are some messed-up nightmare inducers, eh? Who in the world thought those were a good idea? Why did we love them? Were our parents slipping us weed milkshakes? IS MY WHOLE CHILDHOOD A LIE?!

5. I can tell I'm going to have trouble coming up with 12 things. Let's press on.

6. I'm reading Louise Penny's A Fatal Grace, the second Chief Inspector Gamache book, which is a heartwarming tale of Christmas murder. I like it very much.

7. I have been huffing the Fresh Balsam candle from Bath & Body Works and I think it might be causing brain damage.

8. This week we'll attend the high school band holiday concert for the first time with C as a spectator rather than a performer and I'm going to try really hard not to cry, you guys. Concert season usually doesn't affect me the same way marching season does so it'll probably be okay. *sniffle*

9. I have complicated feelings about the new Hobbit movie coming out this month. The Hobbit is one of my favorite books of all time -- I can remember my dad reading it to me as a bedtime story when I was very young -- but I have a longstanding and rather intense crush on Martin Freeman, the actor who plays Bilbo. So that might be weird. I'm still going to see it, I just might have to call my therapist immediately afterward.

10. It's been legitimately cold here, like in the 20s (F, not C) when I wake up in the morning. I can't decide how I feel about that.

11. My old Cuisinart food processor gave up the ghost this week so P got me a new one, and he says I should just throw the old one away, but his parents got it for us when we were married and they're both dead now and I don't want to throw it away, you guys. Much like with the badly injured/dying squirrel we found in our back yard last week to which P was forced to deliver a swift, humane death, I think I might have to implore him to "take care of it, but I don't want to see it or know about it or be told what happened."

12. I'm still really sad about that squirrel. I felt you should know.

Holly jolly

I woke up this morning an hour and a half before my alarm was set to go off. I'd been having a dream about bisecting triangles. Is that a thing? Bisecting triangles? Like with a compass and a ruler? I'm pretty sure that's a thing. It's weird what your brain dredges up when it's not engaged in anything productive, eh?

I could have gone back to sleep but I kept thinking about my shopping list, about how I totally forgot to buy the stuff to make fudge and how I've decided to make pecan tassies for the boys this year (the boys being husband P and son C). Yesterday I made grain-free gingerbread cookies for me (recipe found in this awesome book) and pretzel/Rollo treats for the kids (topped with pecan halves for the boy, holiday M&Ms for the nut-allergic girl) so today I really need to make P's almond crescents. It's only fair.

The decorations are all up and there's not much shopping to do. Things are humming along nicely.

C is in a really good place right now thanks to Lexapro, neurotherapy, a new daily meditation routine and generous applications of tea and Hobnobs. He's been able to get out of the house more and more but he's not yet ready to go back to school, so we've just gotten him approved for continuing with Homebound Education through the spring semester. And he might be sitting out our big holiday shindig with P's family which, as much as he enjoys seeing everyone, has always been incredibly stressful for him. If he sits it out, I'll sit it out with him, because I think 16 is just a bit too young to be left on your own for an extended weekend at home with no parents. (And not because we think he'll have a wild party or anything. Just the anxiety, you know. His AND mine, if I'm being honest.) We'll see how he feels as the date draws near.

H is recently back from a trip to Houston for the 2012 Texas Thespians State Festival, where she had an absolutely amazing time. She came home with an armload of college brochures and is VERY excited to be planning her future. Her fifteenth birthday was kind of piecemeal -- she got breakfast in bed on the day proper, right before boarding the bus to Houston, and then cake and presents when she got home a few days later. She never did have any friends over for an actual party, but apparently one was had in the school cafeteria at lunchtime the day before she left. High school has been very good for her and I'm still coming to terms with how big/old/mature she is now, how quickly she's growing up, how she'll be driving this time next year when it seems like C was only just taking driver's ed himself a short while ago. But then they ARE only 19.5 months apart.

P is nursing a bad back and keeping busy with work and volunteer stuff. I'm keeping busy too, you know, doing the holiday stuff. Baking cookies. Watching Elf. Drinking cheap wine. Bisecting triangles in my sleep.