Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Dogs are the worst

Well, we had a bit of excitement today courtesy of El Guapo here. He had a grooming appointment this morning (we have a mobile groomer who comes to the house and grooms him in a snazzy dog-spa trailer hooked to her pickup and WE LOVE HER) and apparently one of his toenails was clipped a little close and the rain (it rained! a bunch! finally!) and his general hyperness (do not EVEN get me started) combined to melt/dislodge the styptic powder she put in there and suddenly when she brought him back inside there was BLOOD EVERYWHERE. All over my house! Well, not the whole house, but the entire FRONT of the house looked a bit like we'd slaughtered a goat.

The groomer was horrified (totally not her fault; he has solid black toenails and a loooong quick) and ran back out to her grooming trailer for more styptic powder, which stopped it tout de suite. She offered to help me clean up all the blood but I was like, "Um, there is not enough tip money IN THE WORLD to compensate you for that," so I shooed her out the door. And then I had to wrestle the dog into his crate so I could clean up the floor, all while shrieking at him, "OMG, STOP LICKING THE STYPTIC POWDER OUT OF YOUR TOENAIL, you jerk! It already looks like Dexter's kill room up in here! STOP IT."

But anyhoo, the dog is fine. And I cleaned up all the blood. This story has a very anti-climactic ending, sorry. In happier news, we are halfway through NaBloPoMo so you only have 15 more days of inane crap like this! Yay!


  1. I can so relate to this. It's amazing how much blood can come out of a dog's toenail. I actually thought my own pup was going to bleed to death. Glad you were able to get it cleaned up without too much hassle.

  2. I love the inane crap, too!
    vickie in kc

  3. We've always clipped our dogs' toenails ourselves - and once when we clipped too short (black nails, long quick) I of course didn't have any stiptic powder. So the hubs is Googling while I'm holding pressure on the nail of the dog (who I'm convinced is going to exsanguinate on the front porch). Hubs finally comes up with the Google suggestion to use flour in a pinch. Which not only didn't work very well, but got EVERYWHERE on the porch. It looked like a drug deal gone bad out there.

  4. OY.
    I wood have fled.
    Is it mid November already? I'm in a limbo here and days/months are passing before me without me realizing.
    I'm getting older and not even paying attention.

  5. I just can't see that picture without seeing your dog doing a back flip. I love that picture.

  6. Holy crap dude, I'm used to seeing you in my feed with just a post every now and then. Today I see SEVENTEEN POSTS UNREAD? WTH? So here I am, I'm all caught up. As you were.