Sunday, January 26, 2014

No thank you

Hello, I have come to the conclusion that winter sucks. I know some of you are thinking, "Hey! You people in Texas don't even know what winter IS." To which I reply, "EXACTLY. That's why I live HERE and not wherever YOU live, you poor snowed-in bastard, you."

On Monday the 20th I wore shorts. On Friday the 24th school was canceled because of SLEETPOCALYPSE2014!!!1!1!! Tonight I grilled chicken on the patio. And now look at this weather forecast for the week ahead:

What kind of effed-up bullshit is that?! ANOTHER sleetpocalypse?! I don't think there are even provisions in place to deal with possibility of TWO snow days at H's school. They might have to hold a special session of the state legislature or something. OMG.

In other news, I need someone to explain Trader Joe's to me. I finally went to the one in Austin, which opened in September, and apart from a $5 bottle of port (what could go wrong?!) and a couple of cans of coconut cream, I didn't see ANYTHING that I wanted to buy. What do people like there? Is it cookies and crackers and stuff that I don't eat? Should I have taken a closer look at the produce department? What am I missing, here?

And can we talk about books for a minute? Why is Guns, Germs and Steel so boring? I expected to LOVE this book; I see it quoted all the time and the premise is actually really interesting to me, but every time I try to read it, I fall asleep. It's written like someone's extremely boring college thesis. It's repetitive to a degree that I find absolutely maddening. And the questions it keeps asking and answering are not the questions I actually HAVE about the subject at hand. Thumbs down to YOU, Pulitzer Prize winner Jared Diamond, with your fancy gemstone name. THUMBS DOWN. TO YOU.

I have ditched it in favor of Stephen King's The Shining, which of course is a paragon of intellectual wonderfulness, haha. But at least it doesn't put me to sleep. Actually though, I've had to ditch (temporarily) The Shining to re-read Orwell's 1984 so I can help H with her English homework without trying to duct-tape together all the brain cells I've killed in the 32 or so years since I first read it. The things we do for our kids, eh? And for the record, 1984 = less boring than Guns, Germs and Steel. That's right. I said it.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a parka because apparently Texas is in the Arctic Circle now. Sheesh.


  1. How weird is it when such a cold front hits places where it's always mild? I know what you're talking about ... happens here as well, sometimes. Hang in there.

  2. Trader Joes...let's see...good wine, great salmon, lots of delish frozen fare--aka-- easy dinner-making extras, awesome hand soap, weekly fresh flowers, good quality produce, dog treats (!)--->Charlie Bears!, friendly staff...and on, and on. Love TJ's. As for winter in TX, meh, not impressed. Here it's endless. ENDLESS I TELL YOU.

  3. Kathy, Go back to Trader Joe's! Try their coconut oil (I use it as skin care too) and frozen green beans and steel cut oatmeal; their quinoa and barley soup mix. Buy their almond butter-the best unsalted crunchy. I always buy their cleaned fresh kale in a bag. There is also a wonderful kale greek yogurt dip and their hummus is yummy. I stock up on TJ chocolate bars and their dried fruit. Go try it out!

  4. Ah, Trader Joe's! The very cheapest olive oil, coconut oil, balsamic vinegar, almond butter, nuts, wheat-free breads and pastas, fancy cheeses, Greek yogurt, and more. It's a magical combination of gourmet (European chocolate, high quality smoked salmon) and affordable. Plus, yes, if you eat cookies/chocolate/chips, those are excellent too. But the produce is generally not the bright spot at a TJ's.

  5. Many of our Trader Joe favorites are not paleo-friendly and are more for people avoiding GMO's. Scones. Sandwich cookies. Hummus that doesn't have canola oil. This years our carried no cranberry Panettone and I was TICKED.

  6. I'm with you on Trader Joe's - the whole store is processed stuff, plus a few packaged veggies which seemed to be for show. My 13 yo has discovered their Speculoos Cookie Butter, though, and is addicted. She and her friends gift it to each other.

    I'm tired of winter, too.