Friday, June 10, 2016

I'll fake it through the day with some help

Random thoughts in my head this week:

"Now that I'm drinking again, should I buy a bottle of tequila? Do we already have tequila? Do I even like tequila?"

"Why are all books terrible right now like you'd think a book about mysterious grizzly bear attacks would be good, right? Why can't I find a book I like? Why do I hate all the books that other people love?"

"Where was that Tig Notaro thing I wanted to watch, was that on Netflix or HBO?"

"Please oh please oh please let the weather stay sunny like this forever and ever. Please oh please. Amen and thank you."

"I swear to God if they kill Arya and don't bring her back with the Lord of Light's Red Dead Redemption ... I won't stop watching but someone will get a VERY strongly worded tweet."

"Do my boobs look as good as Emilia Clarke's? I think they do but I'm probably wrong."

"Why am I still having the high school locker combination dream 32 years after graduation?"

"Lily Tomlin's character on Grace & Frankie is basically me in 20 years so when can I start wearing muu-muus and dashikis all the time is it now can I do it now?"

"I'll never be enlightened if I can't extend lovingkindness to all the smug assface jerks but they just make me want to punch them so hard their grandchildren will feel it, help."

"Should I get my new passport photo taken while my  hair is purple or let it grow out? Are there international statutes against purple hair? What would P!nk do? They're not going to not let P!nk on a plane, right?"

"How is my tomato plant still producing fruit when it looks like something that dragged its blackened, shriveled ass up out of Mount Doom?"

"Given that you can literally die from stress, is it time to update my will?"

"Should I burn those old journals? I should burn those old journals."

1 comment:

  1. Mine: "It's lucky I just sent Boy away in an airplane to the Czech Republic because he's the only person in the family who is tall enough to see my gray roots."

    "I should call the salon and make an appointment. Correction: I should have called and made an appointment two weeks ago."

    "I hate making small talk with my colorist."

    "Is it time to go gray? For realsies?"