Sunday, April 3, 2016
Low brow but I rock a little know how
It's been a rough start to 2016, I'll tell you what. My poor girl H, who had so many blood draws and radiology procedures in 2015 that I wouldn't be surprised if she was anemic AND glowed in the dark, rang in the new year with pneumonia and a double ear infection, which resulted in a whole lot of absences at the beginning of the spring semester of school.
And then within the space of three weeks she was in TWO car accidents, neither of which were her fault, the second of which resulted in minor injuries (more absences and a couple of canceled theater productions) and her car being totaled. It all got to be a bit too much and, well, you remember when C's brain exploded and we had to pull him out of school in the middle of his junior year? Well, it's kind of like that all over again, but without the misophonia. All of which is to say we formally withdrew H from school this past Friday, just two months shy of what would have been her high school graduation.
Big sigh. Deep breaths.
Unfortunately the place (online) where C was able to get his high school diploma has since been shut down, so best case: she re-enrolls in the summer or fall and finishes up the 1.5 credits she needs to graduate. Worst case: GED. Yep. Meanwhile she was selected as Employee of the Week at her job last week. Life goes on.
While H's car was in the shop waiting to be declared totaled we rented a car for P to drive because H isn't old enough to drive a rental car so she had to drive his truck to work and at one point the truck broke and my car broke and the only working car we had was the rental car and also our dishwasher broke. And a bird kamikaze'd itself into my window while I was doing yoga, which may or may not have been a sign from the universe, but I needed a good cry anyway.
Since last we spoke, I cut off all of my hair twice and dyed some of it purple because really, what else was I going to do? Start drinking again? Join a convent? Purple man hair seemed like the better course of action.
Given that the kids are okay and P and I are okay and everything's going to be okay, the best thing I can say about all this is that, purple hair aside, I've been handling it. I have two individual coaching clients left before I stop doing that for the remainder of the year, and I'm keeping up with yoga (whether the birds approve or not) and mindfulness and not eating too much crap. I've adopted an attitude of gratitude. I've mostly gotten over my damn self and released my expectations and my need for control. Those are pretty big deals for me, so go me, or whatever.
I don't think I set a word or a phrase or any intention (besides "less fear, more authenticity") for 2016 but so far this year I'm getting a strong message that I'm being called to love more. To meet every challenge with love. To quit grasping after my attachments and expectations and just give love.
I've been trying it and so far it's never been the wrong answer. Not once.